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I set out this morning to change my spark plugs in my 15 3.5 eco.
right out of the gate the plug is stuck on the boot so bad I can’t get it off.. then as soon as I got after it real hard the plastic of the plug shatters and is still stuck on the coil pack.
Read this and it should help you out. What you are looking at is the Grommet Cap. It is still installed properly as you can see the retaining tab is still in the slot. The terminals are actually held in place by the TPA (Terminal Position Assurance). Page 7 shows a 16 way connector by your 3 way connector parts are similar.
If the housing is brittle and breaking, you can probably get a replacement from one on the electronic supply houses like Digikey and swap out the old parts for new without having to cut and splice wires. It looks like it is in good enough shape to reuse until the replacement comes in.
And is there anything I can do to make the next 5 come off without so much trouble?
See page 33 on un-mating. All the dirt that has got into the connector and is up against the seal is probably what is making it so hard to un-mate. Clean everything up good and use some dielectric grease on the outside of the connector half that it on the COP. This will help keep the dirt out.