Late afternoon update:

Well as a last ditch resort before going to buy a battery I put the jumper/charger on one more time but this time put the black clamp directly on the terminal instead of grounding it somewhere. It immediately began to charge and wasn't giving me "replace your battery" error messages like it was when the black clamp was grounded on the block.

I left it charging for 90 minutes and then it fired right up. Drove for an hour and should be good to go. Would have cost me $100+ if I had just stuck with grounding it to the block or frame.

Will try to start it up again in 6 hours to ensure it's working. Gotta drive to the airport at 0330!

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My batter died for whatever reason. I'm using a black and decker jump assist to try and get it going. However, it keeps telling me to check the clamps which either means that the connection to battery isn't good or I need to take the battery in to get checked.

I'm wondering if I'm not grounding it well enough. Where in the engine to you ground when you need to jump?

 

any bracket such as the alternator will work. Keep in mind that a dead battery may need more than a booster to get it started. It depends on the size (cranking amps) of the booster.. If possible you should try to either run a battery charger to the truck or another vehicle beside it.... remember that the ground to the bracket is the last thing you hook up and the first thing you disconnect.

 

I've looked everywhere and there just doesn't seem to be a good unpainted spot for it. Alternator bracket doesn't look to have a good place to latch on to.

 

what motor do you have? Look at the intake manifold for a lift bracket or something. and BTW what is telling you that you are not making a good connection?

 

The Jump kit has an LED screen that gives messages, it's can tell when the connection is good/bad, tells that the battery is charging or to crank the engine, depending on which mode is being used.

I had it set on Charge, seemed to get a good connection as the screen read "charging" but then there was some kind of crackling sound for a second and then the horn blasted.

What's that all about?

 

Sounds like you battery is dead as a door nail! The horn shirps when you hook up the battery so maybe since it was that dead and you put it on charge the computer sees it as connecting the battery. Now if that a Jump start (booster) or just a charger?

 

the booster / charger is looking for a low battery not a dead one so when you connect it the LCD screen is probably telling you it is a bad connection because it can't read anything coming from your battery. I would go ahead and put the booster on start instead of charge and try to start it now!

 

Yeah it's a black and decker booster/charger. The start engine mode doesn't seem to work, and it will only take a charge for a minute or two before giving me the replace battery message. Since it's progressively taking longer charges I'm wondering if it was just so dead that it needs to slowly build up.

 

Ok that is a charger and will never start the truck unless you leave in on for a couple of hours. The booster is a different animal and has over 700 cranking amps. That is what is needed to jump start your truck. So set it on so the lcd says connected and walk away for a couple of hours. If possible have it set to the 75 amps but still make sure it says good connection and then in a couple of hours you should leave it hooked up and then try to start the truck. you should at least get it to turn over by then,,, it still might need to set for a couple more hours after that. if you want to be able to start the truck once you find that the battery was dead then you may want to invest in a booster,, such as this....

 

here is a review from your battery charger and is doing the exact same thing as you are stating. If you can get it to stay connected then check it every hour to make sure it is still connected. If however you want to get running today I would suggest you get a jump from another vehicle.

review:
Like others, I bought this to charge or start a drained battery (New car and battery, rear hatch was ajar and therefore light was on for a couple of days). This is the most likely scenario for using this, yet the voltage across the battery was too low for it to recognized (Check cable connection warning over and over). Had to jump the car, which defeats the purpose of the Engine start feature). Then the unit did start charging the battery.