When you put in 4x4, it pulls vacuum to enhance the fork or whatever the mechanism is in the diff. To disengage, vacuum has to be pulled on the other leg. Hence the other actuator. If you put in 4x4 then disconnect it stays engaged because there isn't another vacuum being pulled to disengage it.

 

I doing this. Can u take a picture of you wiring under ur hood? I get the concept I just would like to see how u got it ran

 

I unhooked them 30 min before trying and didn't work