Lol. Yeah, huh. Guess I thought I knew more than I really did. ;-)

 

Ferrell cats?

 

As in the legendary Will Ferrell, of SNL fame? I always thought he was a "dog guy."

 

I noticed mike was logged in last night. I bet he saw this thread and ejected due to the asshattery.

 

I have no idea what's going on here but it's hysterical. OP, if you want me to clean this up, PM me and I'll do so.


Also, please provide some amplifying information as to your water/coffee/beer/pee intrusion.

 

 

Pure. Epic. Brilliance.

Ha!

 

I guess I better move this along.

 

So what would you do? Well, I'll tell you what I did. I froze. Panicked, like a deer caught in the headlights. Which by the way is how we got into this mess in the first place. Anyways, as the rain started to come down I started to come out of it a little. And then, the loudest clap of thunder went off directly overhead, I was totally focused.

The first thing I did was get that damn deer out of Mike's truck. I opened the passenger's side door by creeping up along the bed and carefully crouching beside the door. I used my left hand to reach up and see if the door was locked. Thank goodness for small miracles, because it wasn't, so I quickly grasped the door handle and flung that door open as hard as I could all the while scrambling onto the hood of the truck. My thinking was that if he came rushing out of there, I didn't want to be in his way. And rush out he did. However, once he was on solid ground he stopped and looked around like this is as normal a situation as there ever was. He then walked away as calmly as could be. Very weird.

But I didn't have time to focus on that. I finished scrambling off the hood on the drivers side and attended to Mike. He was in no condition to drive and I sure didn't want to leave him there. I also didn't want to put him into my truck because he smelled. Bad. Smelled like he got real cozy with a large buck during mating season, if you know what I'm saying. So I put him in the bed of his truck for a minute while I tried to figure out how to get my self home without leaving Mike and his truck in the middle of the road during a potentially bad storm.

You see my problem here, I can't drive both vehicles and my place is half a mile away and I don't think that Mike is any shape to drive, so I'm going to have to take him with me. I feel bad, cause I don't want to leave his truck out here unattended. I'm pretty sure I would have no problem running the half mile to my house in the rain but how was I supposed to get Mike there?

And to be honest, I really didn't want to drive Mike's truck after the altercation with the deer,but that looked like the best solution. So I hiked Mike the rest of the way into the bed of his truck and put up the tail gate. I tried to get in the driver's side door but it was definitely busted, I couldn't open it from the outside or by reaching my hand through the window. Looks like I had to go through the passenger side.And as I'm sure you can imagine that wasn't going to be pleasant. I'm not even going to describe how bad it was climbing over that seat to the driver's position. Mike didn't have a console or jump seat, just one long bench seat. But after the altercation with that deer it was "tore up." And stunk to high heaven.

I started up the truck and drove it backwards to my place, back down the drive way and into the barn. All the while holding my breath with my head hanging out the driver's side window, so I didn't have to smell anything. I still had to climb over the passenger seat to get back out and it was just as bad the second time around. I nearly lost my dinner over that five minutes of vehicular shenannigans. I was so sick and gasping for air, I completely forgot that I had left Mike in the back of his own truck.

So after I grab a couple of breaths of fresh air into my lungs, I start jogging back to my vehicle. Which had been left at the side of the road half a mile down highway 32. Not even a hundred feet from the driveway, the rain is starting to come down hard. So I put on the jets and run flat out the rest of the way and jump into the drivers seat. I roll up the windows and run the A/C full blast, then drive backwards towards the barn.

Turns out I needn't have worried about Mike in the back of the truck, he was passed out with the goofiest smile on his face. However, my first thought was, I hope he doesn't have a concussion.

 

And to add some credibility to this story, here is an example of real life deer encounters.




And the original grand daddy of them all... {may be NSFW, bad language only}