Got a joke? Post it!
12-23-2018, 08:22 PM
#911
Sociopath Truckdriver
12-23-2018, 08:57 PM
#913
Senior Member
Originally Posted by Phil48315
Story behind one of our Christmas traditions:
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as-the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor... In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end-of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?' And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree...
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as-the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor... In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end-of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?' And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree...
12-23-2018, 09:25 PM
#915
Senior Member
Originally Posted by Firerunner
Well, you do see angels on top of trees
12-23-2018, 09:56 PM
#916
American Tradition Sprang into being;
an the Carol groups did sing the praises seeing;
this Santa Bagging the lil sum Batch!
Last edited by papa tiger; 12-23-2018 at 09:59 PM.
12-24-2018, 01:36 AM
#917
collaborator
A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2019 Super Bowl, both box seats.
He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place..........
It's at the LDS Church, on North 5th St at 3pm.
The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too.....
She'll be the one in the white dress.
He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place..........
It's at the LDS Church, on North 5th St at 3pm.
The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too.....
She'll be the one in the white dress.
12-24-2018, 07:30 PM
#918
Groom’ brothers Christian duty !
01-12-2019, 12:30 AM
#919
collaborator
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a Member of Congress came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Congresswas very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Congress lined up waiting for a free hair cut And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a Member of Congress came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Congresswas very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Congress lined up waiting for a free hair cut And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
01-12-2019, 02:41 PM
#920
Yep another Class of Citizen has be Created the American Politician Citizen. This Citizen can tell lies, he can accept monies for votes, vote for things plainly damaging to his fellow other class of ?Citizen.
Last edited by papa tiger; 01-12-2019 at 02:44 PM.
