I don't know about 2009, but for 2012 both have the class IV receiver, 7-pin plug, upgraded radiator, auxiliary tranny cooler, and SelectShift tranny. The Max tow pkg adds 500 pounds GVWR (which means 500 pounds more payload capacity for hitch weight), the telescoping tow mirrors, and the trailer brake controller (ITBS). The ITBS is optional on trucks without the max tow pkg, but the only way to get factory tow mirrors is as part of the max tow pkg.
The regular tow pkg is available with any engine and axle ratio, but Max Tow requires EcoBoost engine and 3.73 axle ratio
Grumpy ole man with over 50 years towing experience. 2012 F-150 Lariat SuperCrew EcoBoost, 6.5' bed, Platinum White/tan, Leer 100XQ camper shell, Nomad Joey 196S TT, CarMate 7x14' enclosed cargo trailer, three other utility trailers, plus a retired 2000 Keystone Sprinter 25RKS 5er we rarely tow now. ProPride hitch on the TT. Reese Strait-Line hitch on the cargo trailer.