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Old 08-07-2007, 05:42 PM   #1
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Default Official Joke thread

A Cop pulls over a Blonde in a Trans Am and proceeds to start writing her a ticket - - -

the Blonde says to the Cop - - -

"I didn't think that you strong, handsome officers gave tickets to beautiful, young, sexy ladies?"

and the Cop replied

"We don't, Mam, please sign here" Click the image to open in full size.
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Old 08-07-2007, 05:46 PM   #2
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haha. I didn't get it at first but I get it now.
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Old 08-07-2007, 05:50 PM   #3
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A guy is on a date with this girl, so he takes her to Lover's Lane.
When they get up there, she says, ''I have to be honest with you, I'm a hooker.'' The guy thinks about this for a short time and says it's okay. He agrees to pay her $25 and they start having sex.

After they finish, the guy says, ''I have to be honest with you now. I'm a cab driver and it'll cost you $25 for me to drive you back into town.''
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Old 08-07-2007, 05:51 PM   #4
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Now thats a smart man!
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^^^ Satan has more fun. Hookers, drugs, alcohol, Eminem. Heaven is uneventful.

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Old 08-07-2007, 06:03 PM   #5
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haha what a genius!!!
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:12 PM   #6
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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went
to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and
your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward will be to hang out with
anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with
God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented
the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"

Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me."

God commented, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty
unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you
the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Mm, yes."

Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design
flaws in your invention:

There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion; It chatters constantly at high speeds;
Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!"

Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "Hold on."
God went to his Celestial super-computer, typed in a few words and waited for
the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but
according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:14 PM   #7
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That one is great!
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:18 PM   #8
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hahaha that's hilarious!!!


You're the new forum comedian....lol
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:35 PM   #9
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One afternoon a lawyer (probably a barrister) was riding in his limousine
when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got
out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man
replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll
feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They
are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the
other poor man he stated, "You come with us, too."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But
sir, I also have a wife
and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even
for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the
lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for
taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love
my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:38 PM   #10
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What a bitch!
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:38 PM
 
 
 
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